Suicide is an Option Fried Rice

Editors note - I am fully aware of the polarising name of this dish, right now I am not in a good place and my way of keeping my head above water is dark humour. If you are in a dark place and feel there is no way out, call your local suicide prevention hotline - suicide is never an option and the tough times will pass (the line in France - where I live - is included at the end of this entry).

Have you ever looked at your bank account and seen that you need to exist for a full seven days on six whole Euros, but eating a nutritionally balanced meal is now at least twenty Euros thanks to Greedflation?

Well, step right up and indulge in the delightful greatness of our sizzling hotdogs and corn fried rice, a fusion of flavors that will tantalise your taste buds like never before. This unique dish combines the smoky goodness of perfectly grilled hotdogs with the sweetness of golden corn, all expertly blended into fragrant, fluffy rice. Each bite bursts with a harmonious medley of tastes and textures, creating a culinary masterpiece that will leave you craving more.

Our hotdogs and corn fried rice is a celebration of comfort and creativity on a plate. The juicy hotdogs infuse the rice with their savory essence, while the vibrant corn kernels add a touch of natural sweetness. The result is a satisfying dish that offers a symphony of flavors, making it an instant classic for family gatherings, backyard barbecues, or quick weeknight dinners. Experience the greatness of this fusion sensation and embark on a culinary journey that will redefine your love for fried rice forever.

Rice is one of the most important staple crops in the world and has a long and fascinating history. It is believed to have been domesticated in the Yangtze River region of China around 10,000 years ago, making it one of the earliest crops to be cultivated by humans. From China, rice cultivation spread to other parts of Asia, including India, Southeast Asia, and the Korean Peninsula. Over time, different varieties of rice were developed to suit various climates and growing conditions, contributing to the rich diversity of rice cultivars seen today.

The spread of rice cultivation also had significant cultural and economic impacts. As rice became a stable food source, it allowed for the growth of settled communities and the development of advanced civilizations in Asia. Rice farming techniques and knowledge were passed down through generations, forming an essential part of local traditions and customs. Moreover, the introduction of rice to other regions, such as Europe and the Americas, during the Age of Exploration, had a transformative effect on global trade and cultural exchange, shaping the history of the spice trade and influencing cuisine worldwide.

In recent centuries, rice has remained a vital crop, feeding billions of people around the globe. Its cultivation has been continually improved through agricultural advancements and research. Today, rice plays a crucial role in food security and remains a symbol of cultural identity for many societies. However, challenges like climate change, population growth, and sustainable farming practices pose new hurdles for ensuring the future of rice production and its significance in the world’s history.

Hotdogs, a beloved American icon, have a fascinating history that intertwines with the fabric of Americana. The origins of the hotdog can be traced back to the 19th century when German immigrants brought their sausages, known as frankfurters or dachshund sausages, to the United States. The modern hotdog as we know it today is attributed to the innovation of a German immigrant named Charles Feltman, who, in 1867, began selling sausages in rolls at Coney Island, New York. This simple yet delicious concept quickly gained popularity and spread throughout the country.

Hotdogs became synonymous with American culture, representing not only a tasty treat but also a symbol of leisure and enjoyment. In the early 20th century, hotdogs became closely associated with baseball games, which were a quintessential American pastime. Vendors selling hotdogs in stadiums became a common sight, and the phrase “Take me out to the ballgame, buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks” immortalized this culinary tradition.

During the Great Depression, hotdogs gained even more significance in American culture. They were an affordable and convenient meal option, making them a symbol of resilience during challenging times. Hotdog stands and carts became a common sight on city streets, providing a quick and satisfying meal for people from all walks of life.

Today, hotdogs remain an integral part of Americana, with numerous regional variations that reflect the diverse culinary traditions across the United States. From the iconic New York-style hotdog topped with sauerkraut and mustard to the Chicago-style hotdog adorned with a colorful array of condiments, each variation tells a unique story of regional pride and local flavors.

Furthermore, the Fourth of July, America’s Independence Day, is closely associated with outdoor barbecues and grilling, and hotdogs are a staple at these celebrations. They have become a symbol of national unity, bringing people together to enjoy a classic American food.

In summary, hotdogs have etched their way into the heart of Americana, representing not just a delicious snack but also embodying the American spirit of innovation, resilience, and unity. Whether enjoyed at a baseball game, a summer barbecue, or a street cart in a bustling city, hotdogs continue to play a significant role in shaping American culture and culinary identity.

What you’ll need for this dish

  1. Whatever spare change you have, the more the better, you might be able to get some tinned veg that isn’t nutritionally deficient
  2. Rice
  3. Literally any veg you got
  4. Hotdogs - a surprisingly cheap meat option
  5. Enough motivation to make at least a kilo of rice immediately

Let’s get cooking

To cook this delicious hotdogs and corn fried rice, follow these simple steps:

  1. Prepare the rice: Rinse 1kg of rice thoroughly under cold water to remove excess starch. Cook the entire kilo of the rice as per your preferred method (stovetop, rice cooker, or instant pot). Once cooked, set aside 250g for immediate use, and refrigerate the remaining 750g for another day.
  2. Prepare the hotdogs and corn: Cut the hotdogs into tiny chunks or medium slices, depending on your preference. You can use 2-3 hotdogs, adjusting the amount based on how long you want the packet to last.
  3. Fry the hotdogs and vegetables: In a large skillet or wok, add a little oil and heat it over medium-high heat. Add the chopped hotdogs to the pan and cook until they are lightly browned and heated through. You can also add some diced or tinned vegetables for added color and nutrition.
  4. Add the rice: Once the hotdogs and vegetables are cooked to your liking, add the cooked 250g of rice to the skillet. Stir-fry everything together, ensuring the rice is well coated with the flavors from the hotdogs and vegetables.
  5. Optional (since this shit is expensive): Soy sauce is a great addition for an extra burst of umami and saltiness. You can drizzle some soy sauce over the fried rice and continue to stir-fry for a minute or two, allowing the flavors to meld together.

Serve and cry at the mockery your life has become under late stage capitalism

Your hotdogs and corn fried rice are now ready to be served! Plate it up and relish the delightful combination of smoky hotdogs, sweet corn, and fluffy rice. This dish is a perfect balance of flavors and textures, making it a fantastic meal option for any occasion.

Remember, you can always customise the recipe to suit your taste preferences. Feel free to add other vegetables, spices, or sauces to make it uniquely yours. Feign enjoyment your flavorful creation!

Si vous ou l’un de vos proches a des pensées suicidaires, c’est un signal d’alarme qu’il faut prendre très au sérieux.

Appelez le 3114, le numéro national de prévention du suicide. Un professionnel de soins (infirmier ou psychologue), spécifiquement formé à la prévention du suicide, sera à votre écoute afin d’évaluer votre situation et vous proposer des ressources adaptées à vos besoins ou à ceux de vos proches.

La ligne est ouverte 24h/24, 7j/7. L’appel est gratuit et confidentiel.

En cas de risque suicidaire imminent, appelez le SAMU (15) ou le 112 (numéro européen).

Vous trouverez des conseils et des ressources sur le site, que vous soyez personnellement concerné ou que cela concerne l’un de vos proches.

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